Categories
English

The Man Who Was John Bull by Bill Newton Dunn (Allendale Publishing)

Here’s an ex-Highgate-resident’s well-researched book
On the Regency journalist, Theodore Hook.
He was songster and punster, ‘fast master’ of rhyme,
And the funniest prankster alive, in his time.
John Bull was his organ of satire and wit,
Though he scarcely admitted to editing it.
Snow was falling on Highgate: they all had to wait
When their Sage, their Panjandrum, their Coleridge came late,
From the Grove, down West Hill, to the comedy shrine,
Millfield Lane’s Ivy Cottage, to dazzle and dine:
Yes, to prattle and tipple, to guzzle and shine.
The host was Charles Mathews, celebrity mimic,
Big draw at the Garrick. Hook borrowed his gimmick:-
‘So inveterate (said he) was the wild element
(Hook was aping the Sage) in its fleecy descent,
Dr Gillman and I…’ They all laughed; then the bell
Craved silence for Coleridge (and Gillman as well).
So inveterate (said he) was the wild element …’
How they roared! It was perfect, one hundred per cent.
The King (George the Fourth) said ‘John Bull did more good
Than all of my Judges and Ministers could.’
For with barbed, biting comments and barely a bad jest he
Snagged and harpooned and lambasted Her Majesty.
Coleridge and Byron, and Sheridan too,
Reckoned Hook was a genius: so, reader, might you.
Hook unjustly succumbed, came unstuck: full of fun, but too
    trustful, a touch unsuspicious,
When his unscrupulous underlings plundered huge sums
    from the Treasury Funds in his care, on Mauritius.
P.S. Wait! This is wrong: it was Mathews, not Hook,
Who ‘pre-quoted’ the Sage, if you re-read the book.
And James Smith wasn’t there (wrote smash hits: only one’ll
Be mentioned in BUZZ, on the failed Highgate Tunnel),
When in Highgate, upstairs in a gardener’s cottage,
Old Coleridge waxed roseate in full anecdotage:
Hair floating, eyes bright, he recited and chattered,
Chucked forks at a glass, which he finally shattered…
Hook extemporised songs as if quality mattered
On Coconut Oil and on Mrs MacPherson,
The gardener’s wife, a respectable person.
Her husband and she practised husbandry (tillage),
Like crowds of BUZZ readers who live in the village.
Published in the Highgate Society Buzz, T. Ades, Ed.

Categories
English

'1948, A Novel in Verse' by Andy Croft (Five Leaves, 2012)

A Review published in Long Poem Magazine:
A book called 1948,
made of some eighty Pushkin stanzas,
by Martin Rowson illustrate,
riots of rhyme, extravaganzas.
The cover’s ruddy bloody garish
and Rowson’s drawings quite nightmarish,
obsessive as the text, but still, full
of telling detail, very skilful.
London Olympics, shocks galore:
spies and political skulduggery,
trade unions, left-wing mags and thuggery
and Orwell’s 1984.
‘A, b, a, b, cc, dd,’
it rhymes; ‘e, f, f, e, gg.’
Alberti, Attlee, Blandish, Blunden,
Brecht, Bulldog Drummond, Helen Gahagan,
Greene, Harlow, Marlowe, Lorre, London,
Sartre, Frank Waxman, Ronald Reagan,
Thirkell, not Churchill, Harry Truman,
all rhymed! – it’s almost superhuman.
I’m bound to ask: what rhymes with Pushkin?
Stravinsky’s violinist Dushkin.
(No triple rhymes, no terza rima:
I could have added Ariane
Mnouchkine, but that must be foregone:
no flagpole on this Iwo Jima.)
Pro-Russian Proms ‘have picked The Nose
to bring the season to a close.’
So here’s my chance to rhyme Onegin,
since these are called ‘Onegin sonnets’,
with Fagin, or Menachem Begin –
a donnish jest – quiet flows the Donets! –
He won’t be pleased, so please don’t tell ‘im:
he’s miles less mild than Bassa Selim,
the liberal enlightened Turk
in Mozart’s oriental work.
Anyway, as I said before, well-
constructed pacey period thriller –
Winston and Spiller thwart the killer! –
all based on Eric Blair (George Orwell).
Drain down that draught! Hurl hats aloft!
Hail, handicraft of Andy Croft!

Categories
English

M Sweeney by Timothy Ades

Timothy Adès

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
These jests never preceded ‘The Excellent Wessex Event’: they weren’t needed.
Per: Messer
M. SWEENEY
LE CHEF DE CET ÉVÉNEMENT.
*
French Verse:
. . . Sweeney entre les merles
(See Mr T.S.E.’s “The Seven Septets.”)
. . . Sweeney entre les merles,
les merles et merlettes,
merlettes et merlesses,
perles, merles femelles. . .
et Sweeney, pêle-mêle,
se révèle près d’elles!
*
Gegen entgegengesetzte Sterne
strebt der edelste Held
selbst vergebens.
*
Entered Here . . .

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Categories
English

Lipograms from Stratford–on–Avon by Timothy Adès

Timothy Adès

by a glorious Bard

Let’s see whether he needed the letter e

XVIII Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Comparing you with a day possibly in July or August

I’ll put you up against a balmy day…
You win on looks. Not cold, and not too warm.
Winds cut up rough with darling buds of May;
A two–month contract can’t supply much balm.
Dog–days in August turn to burning hot,
Or may contrarily grow all too dim;
And all fair fowls fall foul of you–know–what,
Thrown by bad luck, or sunspots, out of trim.
But your hot days will last and last and last,
Maintaining tiptop form with full control;
Nor shall morticians brag of shadows cast
Across your path. My words shall grow your soul.
Humans may gasp and gawp, unstoppably:
I sign this gift, your immortality.

This was published in Acumen.

XXX When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,

Writing Off Past Pains

Now and again I sit in soundproof thought
And summon up (Proust’s parrot–cry) things past:
I sigh for lack of many things I sought:
Updating pains, I mourn for hours I lost.
I flood my thirsty ducts, that drown forlorn,
For staunch amigos hid in mortal night,
And cry for sorrows long ago outworn,
And moan my loss of many a long–lost sight.
I’m sad at what was sad, though now it’s not,
Start listing pains untold and pains unsaid,
Accounting still for many a sold–off lot,
And pay again, as if I hadn’t paid.
But oh, mio caro, if I think of you,
All loss is null and void, all sorrow too.
I From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty’s rose might never die,

With Your Good Looks, What About a Child?

Good–looking folk and animals should pup,
Immortalising rosy–blooming glory.
Maturing, I’ll pass on, I’ll go paunch–up,
And my young sprog will carry on my story;
But you contract your troth with inward look,
Nourish your glow with autophagic food,
Drying to scarcity your bounty’s brook,
Your own worst hitman, doing harm, not good.
What! You, this world’s outstanding work of art,
You, proclamation of a coming Spring,
Bury in your own bud your major part,
Wasting good stuff, soft churl, by niggarding!
For our world’s good, nor tomb nor gluttony
Should scoff this birthright of humanity.
CXXX My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red:

(1) A Gallant Comparison

My lady’s orbs can’t match two Suns at noon;
Coral, too ruddy, trumps my lady’s lip;
Snow shows my lady’s bosom slushy–brown;
Black wiry hairs top out my ladyship;
Carnations, snow or crimson, don’t abound
Around my lady’s physiognomy;
As for aromas, it was always found,
My lady’s just unsatisfactory;
Though to my lady’s larynx I’m in thrall,
It falls a long way short of musical;
Gods of Olympus probably walk tall;
My lady’s gait’s not astro–magical.
Don’t worry, though: my girl can still surpass
Any too crassly sold and broadcast lass.

(2) Perfect? Er — She’s Even Better

Her eyes resemble less the fervent sphere;
Her teeth: red–fretted? Redder the jewelled reef;
Steel nets, her tresses; stressed, her temples. Sere
December freezes: where’s the resplendent beef?
We’ve seen red setters, seen the egret’s vest,
Yet egret–sheen ne’er blenched her redless cheeks;
We scented Estée’s scent, then we regressed:
We smelled her scent, reeled senseless! Yes, she reeks!
Her speech refreshes me; nevertheless
Glees, even sennets, fetch me even better;
We’ve never seen the fleet feet *des déesses:
Well, when she steps, the pebbled weeds beset her.
Yet, yet, meseems, †mehercle! she’s the best:
The rest get bent creds: she exceeds the rest.

*French: des êtres célestes.
†See Terence, when rednecks express themselves.

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Acrostic

Categories
French

Acrostic

Françoise Guichard (Facebook poet)

Grande dame montrée souvent en mère-grand Et pourtant ses amants, le monde en fut friand. Oh quelle liberté qui souvent fit scandale! Réfugiée à Paris, sa vie n'est pas banale. Guère en fonds, il fallait bien nourrir ses enfants Et pour l'écriture elle avait un vrai penchant. Survint quarante-huit : la révolte l'emballe, Avant d'en voir la fin, elle fonde un journal. Nombre de ses écrits furent succès brillant. Dans le fil de ces vers, son nom va s'égrenant!
Acrostic
Grand lady, grandmother, and simply great; Everyone’s, and her lovers’, Kiss-me-Kate; Oodles of freedom, often in disgrace; Rumbustious life, Paris her refuge-place; Good mother to her young, though funds were tight; Endowed with a propensity to write; Swept up in ’48, she rides the riot And founds a newspaper: then things go quiet. Numerous works of hers ensured her fame. Down the left column, you may find her name.

Translation: Copyright © Timothy Adès

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The boson

Categories
French

The boson

Françoise Guichard (Facebook poet)

Qu'il est beau le boson! Hourra! Hourra! Hourra! on tombe en pamoison! Le Nobel en physique est dédié au boson Et à Higgs et Englert tous deux au diapason Tandis que des labos s'élève une oraison. Car moults particules naissaient comme à foison, Les chercheurs ajoutant les noms à leurs blasons. Dans leur coeur néanmoins se trouvait ce poison : Pas moyen d'isoler ce satané boson.... Les physiciens du CERN pas très loin des Grisons, Augmentant la vitesse à péter les cloisons Allant bien au-delà du galop des bisons À la masse prévue, ont piégé le boson.
The boson
The bodacious boson Hurrah! We swoon, like those the monsoon blows on! The Nobel physics prize rewards the boson: For Higgs and Englert booms the diapason And lab assistants celebrate, with reason. Particles teemed throughout the silly season, Whose names researchers added to their blazon. Yet ever in their hearts remained this poison: They could not isolate the blessed boson. The CERN physicians fairly near the Grisons Raised speeds to match a brazen mason’s arson, Beyond the galloping of any bison: Foretold the critick mass, corralled the boson!

Translation: Copyright © Timothy Adès

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Three Nobel Prizewinners

Categories
French

Three Nobel Prizewinners

Françoise Guichard (Facebook poet)

Trois Gagnants du Prix Nobel Rothman, Beckman, Südhof ont eu le prix Nobel Dit de physiologie ou bien de mèdecine On est content pour eux du prestigieux label Car il est mérité et sans qu'on ratiocine Le système étudié s'appelle "vésicule" Ce sont de petits sacs (de tout petits cargos) Remplis de composés qu'il faut qu'on véhicule. C'est mieux pour ce transport d'éviter l'embargo ! On le trouve partout : levure ou mammifère Et comment direz-vous se fait la livraison ? Grâce à des protéines qui aux membranes adhèrent Puis elles s'assemblent permettant la fusion. Le point de savoir "quand ?" était une autre affaire Et c'est grâce au niveau changeant du calcium. Biologie, Physique, Chimie : quel savoir-faire ! Chantons la louange d'un tel consortium.
Three Nobel Prizewinners
Three Nobel Prizewinners To Rothman, Beckman, Südhof goes the Nobel For medicine or physiology One’s glad for them to have this fancy label: Merit, no-brainer, no apology! The system studied is the ‘vesicle’, A little bag that totes a tiny cargo Of composites that need a vehicle. This transport’s better off with no embargo! Yeast, mammals, yes you find them everywhere And how do you suppose they get around? Proteins get on the membranes, clinging there Until they cluster, licensed to compound. The point of knowing When is something else: Look at the level of the calcium. Chemistry, physics, bio too: what skills! Let’s sing the praise of this consortium.

Translation: Copyright © Timothy Adès

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Margaret Eloise Knight

Margaret Eloise Knight (14.2.1848 - 12.10.1914)

Françoise Guichard (Facebook poet)

Margaret Eloise Knight (14.2.1848 - 12.10.1914)
En dix-huit cent quarante-huit, Margaret est née Dans le Maine. Elle est jeune quand son père meurt. De l'école, elle doit partir tôt - quel malheur ! - Au travail du coton sa vie est destinée. Au moulin à coton dans sa douzième année A vu un accident qui remua son coeur : Une navette tua un ouvrier fileur. À trouver une protection, s'est acharnée. De santé fragile, elle fit plusieurs métiers Mais toujours elle eut une invention en chantier : Pour les sacs en papier créa une machine, Pour faire des semelles, pour numéroter, Un moteur ! Cent brevets, on peut lui imputer, Fut la première déposante féminine.
Margaret Eloise Knight
Mid 19th century in Maine begotten, She’s just a young child when her father dies: Must leave school early - these calamities! - Her destiny was work, her world was cotton. Twelve years of age: and in the cotton-mill She saw an accident that horrified: A flying shuttle hit a man, who died. She wrestled with the problem, with a will. Her health was poor: of many trades a queen, Always with some invention, some machine: For making soles of shoes, for numbering, A motor... she could tackle anything. She took a hundred patents out, or more: No woman took a patent out before.

Translation: Copyright © Timothy Adès

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Odysseus

Ulysses

Françoise Guichard (Facebook poet)

Ulysses
D’Ulysse, Homère a narré le retour de Troie. Les Grecs ayant gagné, tout est donc pour le mieux ! Mais alors, les humains sont le jouet des dieux : Avant d’atteindre Ithaque, Ulysse fut leur proie.
Odysseus
The Odyssey: the great Return From Troy... The Greeks have won, so everything's OK ! Ah, but mankind is the Olympians' toy: Could he get home? Odysseus was their prey.

Translation: Copyright © Timothy Adès

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Zola – The Debacle

LA DÉBACLE (ZOLA)

Françoise Guichard (Facebook poet)

LA DÉBACLE (ZOLA)
Jean Macquart est témoin de la fin de l’Empire L’intello Levasseur est un de ses amis. Mais sous un coup de Macquart, ce dernier expire Sous la Commune, ils n’étaient pas du même avis.
Zola – The Debacle
MacQuart’s a witness as the Empire ends: Thinking man Levasseur’s among his friends. MacQuart strikes Levasseur, who promptly dies! The Commune caused the pair to polarise.

Translation: Copyright © Timothy Adès

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