London Olympic Lipograms (LOL) and Paralypograms - 2012The Olympics! Eunoia! Euphoria! So I’ll Raise three for Seb Coe and three more for Tess Jowell. The Olympics came back! Lay it on with a trowel! Praise our teams past and present, with *only one vowel*. THE ELDERS Mary Peters pentathlon 1972, gold Jim Peters marathon, Empire Games 1954, Helsinki 1952 Remember the Peterses! She’s DBE, HE teetered, fell helpless: we freeze, bend the knee. marathon Yes the Greeks v the Medes: there were helmets, BC. Peters led the event: needs the merest few metres, he enters the end-stretch, he trembles, reels, teeters... legs, knees, feet, bent, went. Peters, Essex, GB. shot put SHE threw the pent sphere, threw her levellest best, perfected her strength, she exceeded the rest. Northern Ireland Where she dwells, the demesnes seem the greenest: the west, where the verses were Erse, ere the gems were recessed. Daley Thompson, decathlon, golds 1980 & 1984 Ten events! Répétés! He’s been deemed the extreme, ‘New Jesse’, the legend, the endless esteem. Coe & Ovett, middle distance 1980-84 Seb v Steve: MD metres, then DCCC: they needed the needle! Neck v neck, knee v knee. Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson DBE, paralympics 1988-2004: eleven golds She’s the wheel-perfect peeress, she’s Welsh: she herself swept eleven. Resplendent! She’ll strengthen her shelf. Steve Redgrave, Matthew Pinsent, and Chris Hoy knighted... They kneel, feel the steel where the necks meet the pecs. ...by The Queen She herself’s the best ever! Next best, ‘G: Sext: Rex’. Harold Abrahams (gold), Eric Liddell (gold), Paris 1924 cent mètres The pretenders were fleet, even fleeter the Jew; 400 mètres ‘E’ revered the Redeemer: he’s blest. Well, he knew! Lord Burleigh, 400m hurdles 1928, gold He crested the fences, next Exeter peer: ‘Three cheers!’ yelled the brewers. ‘We’ll fetch the best beer!’ THE PRESENT (2012) Tennis: Andy Murray: gold, silver. Laura Robson: silver He served, he deserved, he reversed the regrets, cheeked the Federer gent, swept the needed three sets. Next, he helped the sweet belter. They bettered the bets! Paralympic Tennis: a player unbeaten anywhere since 2003 The wheel-trestled Lenglen, the best we’ll see here, the peerless, the evergreen Esther Vergeer. Heptathlon: Jessica Ennis: gold Jess, the seven-eventer, we’ve seen her excel. Gymnastics Beth Tweddle wheeled steeper, went excellent well; bronze the men get three cheers, they exceed the expected! bronze 1500 metres (not) Steph Twell wrecked her leg: her, they never selected: yet she keeps effervescent, she’s never dejected: she’s better. Keep well, then! Remember Steph Twell. Triathlon: Alistair & Jonny Brownlee (gold & bronze), Helen Jenkins (fifth) They’ve three speeds: the wetness, the wheels, then the street: they bend stretch flex wrestle, fettle legs knees heels feet. they shed the wet ’prene, they’re renewed, they’re well-dressed. Sleek speed, the wee breeks, the revered GB vest! Long jump: Greg Rutherford: gold Seven metres, twelve-tenths were the length he excessed, the extent he exceeded: he flew, legs extended: he stretched! Then they metered the dent where he ended. Red Greg’s Bletchley-bred. Yeeesss! Red Greg led the rest. Long jump: Shara Proctor from Anguilla (many medals, not Olympic) She flew seven metres, then settled her heel. She’s the Elver, she’s dwelled where the emblem’s the Eel. Cycling: Victoria Pendleton: gold, silver Well, the ped’llers were med’llers, we depended, pell-mell: she’s the Empress, she wended! she went! Yes, we’d yell: her heels sped the wheels, let her excellence tell. Were her knee-flexes fevered? Cheers freshened her fever! Canoe: Ed McKeever: gold Ed (the Keel-less) McKeever swept the wet-strength speed-lever! Sailing: Ben Ainslie: gold Ben sets the breeze-wheedlers, lets the vent-vessels swell! Cycling road race: women: Liz Armitstead, silver Three ped’llers were med’llers, three wheelers sped free, (The rest were left helpless!) – they led, then extended, They stretched, the legs vehement, knees ever bended, The feet ever stressed: never rested, the three. Where the Green Belt meets Esher they wrestled, they revelled, They went where the Wey wends, flew fleetest, pressed best: Red deer never fleeter, wet streets never slewed them, They descended the metres, retrenched the green crest. Rowing: fours: gold Pete Reed, MBE: Defence tenners well spent: Three henchmen, the Henley bench-presses event. Eggs, shreds, eggs, beef, eggs: there’s the brekker he gets; Bench presses, leg presses, terse rests between sets. There’s three feller-crewmen. They’ve tested, he blew, men: biggest lungs ever: They’ve checked, they detect MCLX c.c.! 1,168 c.c. He exceeds even me, he’s ten tens percent deeper, They’ve never seen steeper! Pete Reed, MBE. Lawrence Clarke, 110m hurdles: fourth (heir to old baronetcy) The well-heeled leg extended, the chest between the knees: the presence never ended speeds yet the well-descended. Ye spectres! …Where were these? (Respect the gentle breed: less redness, when they bleed.) ...and A... Nicola Adams, boxing, 50kg, gold What a match, what a war, what a lass, what a day! Adams spars fast as Farr and has hands fast as Clay, - and Clay was a champ (wasn’t that at Atlanta? was Adams’s avatar fast Atalanta?) CanCan can’t abash Adams, champ CanCan (Cathay). All stand and clap Adams, call Adams! ya basha! Natasha Jonas Grand standards! (and that was a champ’s match, Natasha!) fourth CanCan’s back whacks that canvas! Cart CanCan away! What a star! Award Adams an astral Class A. Mo Farah 10,000m & 5,000m, two golds Farah ran fast, Farah ran far: at last, a star... coach a man, a plan, A. Salazar! All that gang sang: vast array, at hand, and far, far away: Farah’s fans afar. Luke Campbell, boxing, gold a bantam’s award: a class A star that had drawn Kanat, a Kazakh (Kazakhstan) and had a last hard blast at a Cavan man. Cycling: Bradley Wiggins gold, Mark Cavendish, Ian Stannard, Chris Froome bronze, David Millar What stars! Cav (a Manxman), Stannard and gang, and hard man Brad, hard tarmacadam man, man hard as adamant! – Brad, Mann am Fahrrad, flatpack swagman, man on bike Frank-land’s a grandstand that chants ‘Sans blag, man’, no kidding flat back, calf-stack, fastback hat, all that Mall and that Standard flag: a ragtag gang lags, can’t play tag. ...and Brad rang that sacral clang. he sounded a bell Anthony Joshua boxing, superheavyweight, gold A.J. star, class A, what a dab dab hand, had a jab jab jab at a vast man-mast, a man that had a yardarm spar and a vast hand-span: a manjack vast as Kazakhstan. Jon-Allan Butterworth, paralympic cycling, three silvers J.-Allan, RAF man, a man-at-arms at war, lay at Bagrám, at Afghan, at Afghan lands afar. A blast attack at Basra at Shatt-al-Arab’s strand attacks an RAF man and blasts away a hand. Natasha Baker on Cabral, paralympic equestrian, two golds Natasha, stalwart, calm and small, Natasha sat athwart Cabral, a gallant lass that can sashay avant, aback, aslant: (Cabral, dark bay!) and drank that chant: “Natasha, star! Cabral, stand tall!” and black mascara ran. Ellie Simmonds, paralympic swimming: 400m freestyle, 200m medley, & relay: two golds, silver, bronze A Walsall lass, small, small, swam a grand, grand crawl. Fans swarm and mass, stand and bawl! And swam all ways, fast blast! had a ball. Grand days! Alison Williamson, archery, at her sixth Olympics Alison, an archer, already at an astonishing age anticipated and also attended Atlanta, and attended again at Athens, achieving an award, an ancient amalgam, and Australia, and again, and again! - always advancing an arm and accurately aiming arrows. ... it is I... Tom Daley bronze High Diving British big bird (think: fishing! his instinct, his big skill, sights his fish, flings his bill, wins his fill) brings it, wings it, finishing third with skin-tight timing, thrilling skill, springing in swimming's limpid rill. High fiving! ...on to O... Cycling: Laura Trott, Sir Chris Hoy Trott’s from Bolton, Hoy’s Scots. Two gongs of gold, now, hotshot Trott’s. Hoy got two, too. Hoy’s got lots! Paralympic 100m, 200m wheels: Hannah Cockroft two golds ‘Whooosh! Gold for Cockroft’ – North Yorks Post (not) Cockroft’s from Yorks, from old wool towns, not North Yorks Moors, nor York, nor Wolds. Now, yon’s no robot! Worth two crowns, own motors zoom to scoop two golds. * Rhyme for a day of two golds and two medals in judo New kudos, the new medal-message: intone cante jondo! Two judos, Dujardin wins dressage, Jade Jones wins taekwondo! * JK’s Consonantal Straight Eleven A British Cyclist Defeats Everyone For Gold. Hurrah! It’s Jason Kenny! ...Envoi... So many more names, and wonders, I can’t record: Winning, or taking part, is its own reward… That’s all – I have dared, with too limp an excuse, To scrawl in the hall of Olympian Zeus.